Love You
by The Secret's Lie
Summary: How will Kurt deal...when the love of his life is gone? Oneshot.  Not for the faint-hearted


**I was inspired by a youtube video, and this is what became of it. Not for the faint hearted.**

I'm sleeping soundly, warm covers tucked up to my chin, when I here a faint buzzing. I brush it off and continue to lay, cozy, in my bed. The buzzing persists, which only proceeds to annoy me. I finally throw off my covers with a huff and look to the source. I see my phone blinking up ant me, signaling a call. I blink a few times from the blinding light in the dark room before grabbing the phone and answering the call without even checking who it was.

"Hello?", I ask groggily, still mostly asleep and slightly pissed that someone woke me from a fantastic dream, not caring it was time for me to get up any way, about my loving boyfriend.

"K-Kurt?", a female voice sounds from the voice. I sober up at the sound, because it sounds like this person is in tears.

"Yes, that's me. Who is this?", I ask calmly, a bit frightened at the tone of voice.

"This is Julie, Blaine's mother.", the woman, Julie, informs me. I remember now, Blaine had introduced me before we started dating. We'd met on few occasions and from what I grasped she was very supportive of Blaine.

"Julie? What's wrong?", I ask, staring to get worked up. Why would she be calling me at all, let alone this early in the morning.

"Kurt are you sitting down.", she asks. Ok now I really started freaking out. There had to be something wrong.

"Answer me….what's happened.", I restate seriously, Is something wrong with Blaine?"

"I- I really think you need to sit down, is any of your family awake?", she asks me. She wouldn't answer me so I began to get a little angry. If it had something to with Blaine I needed to know now.

"Tell me what's wrong….now.", I demand viciously. Normally I wouldn't dare to talk like that to an adult, let alone my boyfriends mother.

"Kurt calm down. Th- there's been an accident.", she replied softly. I barley heard her but it was enough for me to start breathing heavily in terror.

"Is Blaine ok?", I ask, starting to shake with worry.

"He, he was on his way to your house…to see you for breakfast. K-Kurt he was in front of a Semi, and t- the dri- driver wasn't paying attention when they got to the stop sign a- an-and-", she started sobbing into the phone, not able to finish the sentence. It was enough, however, for me to piece it together. Semi, accident, Blaine. Those three words made it very clear. As she sobbed I dropped the phone. I began hyperventilating and I fell to my bed.

"Oh god.. Oh g-god oh god.", I began my quick breathed mantra. I couldn't breathe, I felt light headed.

"Kurt?….Kurt!", I hear from the phone, but only barley, the blood rushing through my head is enough to block out any noise I hear.

"Oh god! No, no no no no no!", I screamed as breathing got harder to accomplish. The last thing I hear before blacking out is Finn.

"Kurt you coming down to breakfast or what?"

* * *

><p>When I wake up I see Finn staring at me worriedly, a cup of water in his hands. He sighed as soon as he sees my eyes open though.<p>

"Oh good, I thought maybe you were dead because you wouldn't wake up. Thought I might have to dump water on you.", Finn laughs. I however stare solemnly at the floor as I remember why I passed out. When Finn doesn't see me laughing he becomes worried again.

"Kurt? What's wrong?", he asks. I suddenly shoot up, heart racing, as I grab my phone off the floor and begin changing clothes, not caring Finn was still staring at me. He shields his eyes when my pajama pants drop to the floor and begins backing out of the room.

"Dude! What are you doing!", Finn asks backing away. I stuff my phone in my jeans before pushing him out of my way. He follows me and before I can make it down the steps he grabs me by the shoulders and spins me around.

"Kurt! What in the world are you doing! Why won't you answer me!", Finn asked, wide eyes. I try to shake him off but he's got a strong grip. I begin jerking around trying to get him off me, telling him all the while why I must leave.

"Blaine- needs- me!", I growl. He brings one arm around my front and practically straps me to his chest.

"Why?", he struggles as he try's to hold me.

"Because he was hit by a Semi!", I yell out, stopping my movements. Everything's stills as we stare at one an other. Both breathing hard, but not saying a word. Tears prick at the corners of my eyes and my face turns to one of pain. Before the first tears rolls down my cheek, I find my self enveloped in a strong set of arms, and we both fall to the floor. I begin sobbing as he hugs me like a small child.

"Oh my god Kurt…I- I", he struggles for the words. He's not the brightest, and he didn't know what to say, right then though, I didn't care. I suddenly stopped sobbing with a gasp before wrenching the phone from my jeans. I brush Finn off when he asks me what I'm doing, and dial the number that had woken me that morning.

"Kurt? Oh thank god are you ok?", Julie asks me when she answers.

"Yes….I'm ok. Wh- where is Blaine…what hospital.", I ask quietly.

"Lima, memorial. He was close to you house when it happened.", she answers just as quietly.

"Is he….alive?", I ask the dreaded question.

"Yes..", I immediately let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in.

"But, he's not doing to well…they th- they don't know if he'll make it.", she says, breaking what little hope I had gained at knowing he was alive. I take a shaky breath before telling her I would be there soon and hanging up. I look to Finn and it seems all he knows to do is hug me.

"He'll be fine Kurt, I promise he'll be okay.", Finn soothes. It takes me a couple seconds to compose myself before I stand.

"I'm going to see him. Tell Dad what happened for me please.", I ask him as I begin my descent down the stairs. He follows me quickly behind.

"Kurt you can't drive like this. Let me take you." I simply nod and we both walk to my car. I silently hand him the keys and allow myself some time to calm down in the short drive to the hospital.

* * *

><p>Once we arrive I dash to the front desk, leaving Finn behind to call our parents. I put my hands down on the front desk<p>

"Excuse me can you tell we where to find Blaine Anderson?", I ask in my most polite voice. The woman looks me over for a minute.

"Are you family?", she asks. I knew from that question, exactly how this little situation would go. I'd tell her I wasn't family then we'd fight for a few minutes about not letting me see him, then we'd be asked to leave.

"No….I'm his boyfriend.", I tell her, gritting my teeth in the knowledge she'd not let me in.

"Well only fa-"

"Listen to me right now….I have been with him for over a year, he was hit by a semi truck and he may not make it out alive, you are going to tell me where he is whether you like it or not!", I screech at her. She looks frightened for a moment before nodding.

"I- I'll ask the mother if your allowed…w-what was your name?", she stutters out.

"Kurt Hummel", I answer sweetly. She nods again then picks up the phone. After a short conversation and Julie demanding they allow me in, I was informed which room he was in.

"Now that wasn't so hard was it?", I ask, pissed.

I'm a nice person, I have good manners, and yeah sometimes I may be snarky but all in all I'm a pretty good guy, but when Blaine's life is hanging in the balance, there is NO time for me to worry about being nice. He needs me and that's all that matters.

I quickly turn away from the desk and grab Finn, leading him to the elevator.

"I called Mom and Burt, they said they'd be here soon.", Finn tells me.

Once we reach the designated floor I race out and start frantically searching for Blaine's room. Once I find it I open the door slowly. As I inch inside I see Julie, sitting next to the bed. When I'm fully inside the room, my mouth drops at the sight. My eyes glance over the still form of Blaine and it's to horrifying for me to look at long. Instead I look to Julie, who is now gently laying down his hand, which she was holding, and addressing me. I stand still as a statue as she hugs me.

"Oh thank you for coming.", she whispers. I gulp as she pulls off and I can see her tear stained cheeks.

"W-What's th-the damage?", Finn asks staring dead center at Blaine.

"He, his ribs punctured a hole in his heart and they c-can't find the hole, s- so there's not really much they can do.", she answers. My hands fly to my mouth and before I know what I'm doing I'm sobbing into them.

"He's going to die!", I say, the words muffled by my hands and my sobs.

Finn hugs me again, gently patting my back, because that's really all he knows to do. I compose myself yet again, before making my way next to the bed, and forcing myself to look at him. There are some deep scratches, and bruises on his face. There'd also a bandage around his head. Other then those, he looks almost completely normal. The horrifying part, however, was all the tubes and wires coming from everywhere. The steady beep of the heart monitor is enough to make me shake. I sit in the seat Julie was previously in and watch his chest rise and fall. Sadly it's stuttered, and looks painful. I hear Finn and Julie excuse themselves to do whatever it is their doing, but I pay almost no attention. My eyes are focused solely on the boy in front of me. I gently lift his hand into my own.

"Hi.", I whisper, hoping he can hear me. His eyelids flutter but nothing more happens.

"I- I don't know if you can hear me. I j- just. Incase som- something happens. I want you to know that…I love you. A-and I always will. I love you Blaine.", I say and I can't help the tears streaming yet again.

"L-l-l-ove….y-yo-you.", I gasp and feel my heart start beating rapidly.

"Blaine?", I ask looking at his face for confirmation. It scrunches up and I watch his lips form silent letters.

"I-I lov-love-",…..then the beeping starts going wild. I look around frantically as he starts convulsing and coughing blood. I stand quickly, still holding his hand.

"Blaine?….Blaine!", I start screaming. Soon the room is flooded with doctors and nurses and pushing me out of the way. Away from my Blaine. A nurse is pushing me from the room as I struggle to see what's going on.

"Stop! Blaine!", I yell.

"You have to let the doctors help him.", the nurse tells me, successfully shutting the door behind us. I begin pounding on the door.

"No!", I yell. Soon someone grabs me and pulls me away from the door.

"Kurt!", I hear Finn call. I stop yelling and look up at his concerned face. I see Julie next to him, looking even more worried.

"What happened?", she asks, shaking.

"He…he was talking! A-and th-then he w-was shaking a-and oh god there was so much blood!", I sob. That's all I can manage for a good 15 minutes….sobbing. I stop, however, when a nurse comes from the room. She looks to us gravely, a sad expression on her face. I know what's she's going to say before it even comes form her mouth.

"I'm sorry….we tried our best", that's all I hear before the pounding in my head becomes so persistent I can't stand. I fall to my knees as waves of pain crash over my body. My heart wrenches so tight I feel like at any moment I could explode. I can hear myself screaming, I can see Julie crying, I can see Finn pulling me up, trying to comfort me. Before I know it I'm pounding on his chest with my fists, trying to make him feel some inkling of the pain I feel.

"You said he'd be fine! You promised!", I yell at him. I keep beating his chest until there weak little punches, not doing anything.

"You….promised.", I sob. All I feel is pain, then….I feel nothing. For days I feel nothing.

* * *

><p>When I wake up, I'm at home, in my bed. I laugh a little at the déjà vu feeling before the pain of loss comes beating down on me like a ton of rocks.<p>

No pain could ever compare to this gut wrenching emptiness.

The love of my life, was gone. No one would ever know this great an agony.

The fact that he had died trying to tell me he loved me was the sickest most twisted thing I had ever heard of.

If there was a god he was a terrible, horrible, bastard. I couldn't get the blood out of my mind.

There was so much blood!

I knew it would torture my dreams, the blood, the words.

Nothing could fix the mental aguish of watching your lover die right in front of you.

Even now I still can't believe it happened.

I know why I woke up….I know because inside my head he's there.

He's telling me to get dressed and go say good bye.

How could I say 'no' to this wonderful man?

So I get up….I get dressed…and I go to watch my 'first everything' get buried 6 feet deep.

Why would I torture myself this much?

Why would I go knowing it would kill me inside.

Because he told me to.

Because Blaine told me to.

His names feels so taboo now.

I wince as the priest says his name like it means nothing.

He doesn't deserve to say his name.

No one does….not even me.

Because everyone failed him.

* * *

><p>When they finally lower the casket everything is numb with grief.<p>

It makes me wish I was up there with him.

In heaven.

I may not believe in god but he did.

He thought everyone was wrong and that god loved us all, gay or not.

I know that if there is a god then Blaine is up there with him right now.

Because never, in all of humanity, would there ever be a boy more loving and forgiving then this one.

He shook hands with a guy that almost blinded him for fuck's sake!

Soon there's a hand on my shoulder, a voice telling me it's time to go.

I feel myself stand and walk with them.

I turn and look one last time.

I blink when I see it, but after the ghostly figure of my boyfriend remains I realize he's really standing there.

He actually standing there, next to his grave, smiling at me.

That just fucks the proverbial dam inside out and upside down, because he's dead….he shouldn't be standing there smiling at me.

I run back to where he's standing, to the dismay of my family, and try to grab him.

Nothing, there is no warm hand against mine.

"But….he was right there!" I begin crying, calling for him as he drifts away.

* * *

><p>Nothing could prepare me for that…nothing could prepare me for losing Blaine.<p>

I didn't know how to deal.

So I took the easy way out.

Call me a coward I don't give a damn.

I'm with Blaine now and that's all I care about.


End file.
